Wow man. Even my relationship with my parents are better.

What type of grants and loans are you dealing with?

Could you put your mother under a 72 hour hold via asking your family members to do it as you have a conflict of interest? She obviously has some issues and needs some examining.

As far as cars and personal belongings you can get it if your name's on it. IE Titles, product registration, etc.

 

Well, I would say they if you made 14K last year and you were living with your mom, she *may* have at least some reason for doing what she does... Maybe good reason.

What exactly does she pick fights about?

If you are unhappy with your current living conditions, it's up to you to change them. Even today, there are plenty of full time jobs you can start at with a relatively good salary, and work your way up in to make a good living wage on. This may require you to go to work every day, some Saturdays, be there on time, work 8 hour days and be productive. I'd suggest Home depot or Wal-mart. Alternatively, look on the local craigslist and fine a contractor or someone else looking for help who can pay you under the table. If you go that route learn the trade, and then start doing that for yourself. You don't need to spend money on silly school to start making money now.

I would go back to your mom, do what she tells you to do and don't bitch about it. Live with what she tells you to do and like it. Get that job at home depot or what ever, start saving every extra penny. If the situation is that critical, move out in a few months and get an apartment. If it's not, live there for a few more years till you have enough money for a down payment on something, and then buy a house.

That's that.

 

I had just gotten back from my 3rd interview with apple and my mom lost it. She flipped out about my gf's car being in the garage and went out and attempted to move the car without keys. She was yanking on the shifter with all her weight. To sum it up I ended up in cuffs and spent the night in jail. She falsified a police report and lied under oath in court. I have a lawyer and all of my legal stuff is under control.

Umm we kind of lost the whole story...how did you end up in cuffs? What are you looking at for school (tech.? community college? major university?)? I've known people who have worked there way through college while attending, it's very doable, depending on what you major in you might be there a little longer (like a semester or 2). You can get loans by filing the fafsa, if you pay your way. Is there a reason why you haven't found a job? (I mean school usually starts in the fall, so what's going on now?).

Next issue, is how many cars do you have? Hopefully not more than 2. Anything more is a bit excessive with planning on going to school, especially with no place to keep them.

Sorry the shit has hit the fan...but don't get angry and go do something stupid (hopefully that hasn't happened yet). Keep us posted.

Don't think there is a grant system for housing until you pick a school. Look at scholarships (I mean there a ton...). You probably will qualify for very general ones but they have a chance to ease the transition into school.

 

You don't just get arrested for your mom being "off kilter" as you put it. Given your previous track record in dealings with other members I am inclined to think that there is part of the story that you aren't telling us. Kind of like, "once upon a time, the end."

That said, step 1 is to fill out FAFSA. They don't really give a shit how many living relatives you have or anything, they just want numbers. The fact that you made $14k while living at home last year would indicate to them that you do NOT need aid. In a year in which I made $2500 and my retired father made precisely twice that much, although my expected family contribution was $0, there was still a gap of $30k each year between what grants and scholarships I had and what else I needed to pay. And this was back in 2002. Expect to take out loans. Big loans. There are some loans that you can't get unless a parent has been declined for a certain type, there are private loans with ridiculous interest, maybe your school will offer you a payment plan or something.

OR instead of racking up $100k+ in debt so you can run away from home in style, you could do the adult thing and, idk, actually work on your relationship with your mother. I live in a family full of diagnosed schizophrenics, psychopaths, manic-depressives and garden variety nutjobs, where we used to routinely beat the shit out of each other for no reason other than the fact that we were forced to breathe the same air, and where I was literally stabbed through the arm for sneezing during a TV show. And today, we managed to have a nice Easter dinner without anyone needing to go to the hospital.

You know how you react to things around here, minor stupid petty shit which you've instigated by your own conduct and blown way the fuck out of proportion, and let me tell you if I were your mother I probably wouldn't take that shit either. Think on that before you decide whether you want spend the rest of your life paying down student debt so you can run away and leave what's basically a free ride, as some kind of "power play" over your mother.

 

You don't just get arrested for your mom being "off kilter" as you put it. Given your previous track record in dealings with other members I am inclined to think that there is part of the story that you aren't telling us. Kind of like, "once upon a time, the end."

Jewish kids like Drewz have learned how to skip over the meat of the conversation.

 

FASFA, private loans, co-signer.

In today's time, you'll rarely be getting full aid/scholarship. Considering this, get ready to spend a lot and be prepared to be enslaved by college loans. It's something in life that 90% or more students will not be able to avoid and in the end, it's a necessary evil. A tough pill to swallow but one that you can't ignore....the alternatives aren't attractive.

And as for your mom and pending legal action, I'd just step up and take the blame. Whatever issue was between you and her is not worth ruining a relationship for a lifetime. Everybody has their bad days and a sincere phone call, apology, and remorse goes along way. It might not be the way you really feel toward her and the situation, but it's better than legal action, poverty, no school, etc.

 

Drew, what's up with this car?

Hate to say it, but it's probably worth some decent cash.

 

I will never sell that car. It is one of the last things I have to remember from my father. Also it was in my fathers name when he died so it's now in my mothers. So I may be possibly loosing it anyway. She has been holding that above my head for 3 years.

Join the military.

I can't I have health issues they won't take me. I would have a long time ago.

Also I am looking for advice not dick head remarks. Some people just need to learn when the common TSL bashing needs to stop and when to step in and help their fellow man.

 

i cant be of any help about the grants, being from a different country lol
... but ...
as someone who hasnt spoken to family members in over 10 years(thats all i would like to say about it) .... id say bite the bullet man .... family is pretty important ... especially since your father passed away ... cherrish any possible family interaction possible

 

Little lesson here, but it's probably too late:

When you have a psychotic parent, make sure you are always the one dialing 911.

Other than that, ditch her. Sell some stuff. Sell all your stuff. Move somewhere cheap, get some roommates, etc. I'm sure you could do a houseshare in Tremont, bump up your hours at work and make a go of it.

Also, college is nice but it's not a right. Unless you have a definitive, executable plan for study, don't waste your time muddling around in electives that are not geared toward getting you a good-paying job.

Seriously? If I were you, I'd be looking toward some of the pharmaceutical manufacturing job training programs they have at Cuyahoga County Community College. That's a blossoming field in and around Cleveland (mostly because they can't get folks from elsewhere in the country to relocate to northeast Ohio, go figure) and you can make some decent money doing that sort of stuff.

 

Be good to your mom. Even if she is crazy, she's the only one you've got. Despite what happened, she'd probably go to the end of the Earth for you.

I know you have a health disorder, but people of all abilities have to make their own way in this world. Do whatever it takes to learn to get along with her (dude, free rent, c'mon now), work your tail off, save some dough, and reevaluate when you have a savings cushion. There's some good advice in this thread, listen to it, even if it isn't what you want to hear.

Student loans have their place, but only when you know what you want out of life and your career.

 

While the advice of trying to get along with his mom is good, if you re-read his post, it looks like she's got a temporary restraining order on him. He's not allowed to go to his house. So, basically, telling him to kiss and make up isn't so easy now that the courts are involved.

 

They obviously have history. All I'm saying is that doesn't mean they can't learn to get along.

I gave my mom (a mild version of) hell as a teenager. I also didn't talk to my dad for 3 years -- and what brought us back together was his cancer diagnosis. I know what it's like to be on the outs with family, and I also know most of the time they (parentals) are (were) just waiting for your (my) dumb ass to wise up.*

*Not meant to be an exoneration of the parent(s), but they are less likely to come around (ie change) than the kid.

 

Join the military.

 

Yep, there you go.

 

Off your self or would that be the easy way out? all joking aside, at this point in your life personally i would screw school. Get your self a full time job doing what ever and sell everything you own that you really don't need. You could always ask for donations*

 

You are trying too hard.

 

Did you hit your mother, is that why she has the temporary RO? I know the Almighty Matriarchy of TSL doesn't need any more ammo on you, but shit dude, if that's what happened, posting this here was a Hella bad move.

 

I'd suspect. It sounds a lot like there are 2 very unreasonable & irrational people too close to one another.

 

join the military.

don't buy anything you don't need. (ie: unless you will die)

cancel your cell phone, shop at thrift stores, don't mod your car, don't eat out, etc etc this kind of stuff saves ALOT of money.

 

have been through some horrific family problems. our fault, their fault - you have to be the bigger/better person before you'll ever be happy. Otherwise, you're repeating another terrible circle of negativity. If shes crazy, be sane. If you're crazy, stop it.

However, nothing should ever end with you being in handcuffs when it comes to dealing with your own mother. Whatever happened there, stop. it.

 

on the student loan. im not sure how old u are, when i went to go to school my parents didnt want to help with anything. i had sent in aps for grants/loans etc. and they came back no. the reasoning is cause my parents mad to much money. seeing u only mad 14k lastyear i dont see why you wouldnt get a grant. im not sure how old you mom is, if she works or anything like that. but if she makes to much they may say no... somone might have alil more about this than me......

i know family problems suck. i have been lied to for 27 years now bye my whole family. i just found out who my real father is. after 27 years, i found out 5 years ago that my dad isnt my father and me n my mom havent been the same since. family is bigger than anything in the world. i hate liers, cant stand them.. i didnt talk to my mom for a year after i found out, and i hated everyday of it.. what im trying to say is work out ur problems with your mom.. i dont know what the problems are. but your mom is the last peice of anything your father was to you.. you might no like what she says but she is your mom... i hate my mom for lieing to me. but i love my mom for raising me to be the person she did. i hope everything works out for you.....

 

Nothing to see here.

 

if you can't join the military i would do what has been advised.

1. make up with your mom.

2. find a full time job

3. eliminate all unnecessary spending (the more you save the better)

4. sell what you don't need.

5. dump the gf and find one that has $$$$$$

 

if you can't join the military i would do what has been advised.

1. make up with your mom.

2. find a full time job

3. eliminate all unnecessary spending (the more you save the better)

4. sell what you don't need.

5. dump the gf and find one that has $$$$$$

I will end up in jail if I contact my mother

Job hunting right now.

Haven't spent a dime in a week

Been selling off all my car parts. Hard to do now since I can't go home.

Love is more important then money. I would rather be poor and live out of my car and be with her than not have her.

 

Why should we help our fellow man if it sounds like he's in trubl for hitting his mom? Assuming that's the case, which is pretty easy to do since you won't share what's going on... that's not something a man does, that's something a spoiled child does.

 

Why should we help our fellow man if he's in trubl for hitting his mom? That's not something a man does, that's something a spoiled child does.

I'm certainly not trying to defend anyone here... But you seem to have gone from speculation to accusation pretty quickly.

There are a lot of reasons one could end up arrested and the RO could easily be overreaction on his mothers part.

 

Maybe so, but that'd be easy enough to clear up.

Ohio law is pretty clear on what constitutes an arrestworthy offense and pretty much all of them are pretty reprehensible to do to your mother.

 

Maybe so, but that'd be easy enough to clear up.

Ohio law is pretty clear on what constitutes an arrestworthy offense and pretty much all of them are pretty reprehensible to do to your mother.

I've been arrested for simply not being level headed enough to listen to instructions from a police officer. When you are seriously pissed and in the middle of a heated argument, sometimes the cops feel like you are better off spending the night with them then doing something you may regret later. Then you get OR'd, and no charges even get filed. This happens ALL THE TIME in domestic disputes. Especially if you are intoxicated, which could have been the case.

I've dealt with my fair share of angry, vengeful women and in the heat of 'battle' they will say and do shit that is absolutely unfathomable. Then they are so damned stubborn after the fact that it is easier to continue the drama than admit they are emotional wrecks who need serious help.

Now, if he did in fact hit his mother than he should seriously go fuck himself but I don't think we should let unrelated drama from the past push us to such awful conclusions.

 

you could always join a non-profit like americorps and go get some community service under your belt, learn some skills, and get scholarship money towards college when your done.

you could also move down south, and be homeless...at least if your homeless in miami you wont freeze to death....and there are hot chicks.

 

you could always join a non-profit like americorps and go get some community service under your belt, learn some skills, and get scholarship money towards college when your done.

Friend of mine went this route.

She worked at a charity in Arkansas for a few months and did Americorps in Harlem for 6 months after that. She has heard back from every college she applied to with 80-90% of everything covered with scholarship monies.

After a year of living on stipends she's got 200k+ in benefits to a bunch of schools she wouldn't have dreamed of getting into last year.

 

lets face it.

some ho'es deserved to get decked.

if he did or didn't deck his mother, lets all stop assuming everyone's mother is a saint. If they were we wouldn't have this thing called child services.

 

You guys are mostly right, I am kind of on a douche rampage.

I do recall several conversations with Drew in the past about having trouble repressing his anger towards his mother and so on and so forth, how he has punched holes in walls and so on during arguments with her. So you can see why it's real, real easy for me to jump to said conclusions.

 

Punching walls is different than punching mothers, at least it was an inanimate object. It is not fair to accuse someone of such a heinous act without any evidence; best guesses in this case are baseless accusations.

It would be similar to someone suggesting that you are a bad mother with no evidence like you had happen on another thread. Also, I think everyone has a heated argument with their parents every once in a while. Unless Drew says more about the circumstances surrounding the night in question, there is no definitive answer.

 

don't be fooled. saablink is 100% truth.

 

Hey Drew, why were you arrested?

Thanks,

Scott

 

...still waiting...