Saab Link Forums banner
1 - 20 of 146 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,107 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This week my life took a turn for the worst and thankfully I have my best friends family who treat me like their own son. To sum up what happened my mom is a little bit off kilter and likes to pick fights about everything. She enjoys telling me I am a failure and bashing my best friend/gf. I don't know if this is her way of empowering me or just a cruel joke on her part. I had just gotten back from my 3rd interview with apple and my mom lost it. She flipped out about my gf's car being in the garage and went out and attempted to move the car without keys. She was yanking on the shifter with all her weight. To sum it up I ended up in cuffs and spent the night in jail. She falsified a police report and lied under oath in court. I have a lawyer and all of my legal stuff is under control.

What I am asking for from the saab community is help with figuring out the grant system for school and housing. My father passed away 3 years ago and I only made 14k last year. I am looking for a full time job till I can get student loans or grants to pay for school. Also I need a place of my own. I have looked up a few places locally but need full time employment to pay for them. At this point I have 350 bucks to my name and car that needs new rings. My other cars are sitting at my house which I am not aloud to go to.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Drew
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,495 Posts
Wow man. Even my relationship with my parents are better.

What type of grants and loans are you dealing with?

Could you put your mother under a 72 hour hold via asking your family members to do it as you have a conflict of interest? She obviously has some issues and needs some examining.

As far as cars and personal belongings you can get it if your name's on it. IE Titles, product registration, etc.
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
7,595 Posts
Well, I would say they if you made 14K last year and you were living with your mom, she *may* have at least some reason for doing what she does... Maybe good reason.

What exactly does she pick fights about?

If you are unhappy with your current living conditions, it's up to you to change them. Even today, there are plenty of full time jobs you can start at with a relatively good salary, and work your way up in to make a good living wage on. This may require you to go to work every day, some Saturdays, be there on time, work 8 hour days and be productive. I'd suggest Home depot or Wal-mart. Alternatively, look on the local craigslist and fine a contractor or someone else looking for help who can pay you under the table. If you go that route learn the trade, and then start doing that for yourself. You don't need to spend money on silly school to start making money now.

I would go back to your mom, do what she tells you to do and don't bitch about it. Live with what she tells you to do and like it. Get that job at home depot or what ever, start saving every extra penny. If the situation is that critical, move out in a few months and get an apartment. If it's not, live there for a few more years till you have enough money for a down payment on something, and then buy a house.

That's that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
270 Posts
I had just gotten back from my 3rd interview with apple and my mom lost it. She flipped out about my gf's car being in the garage and went out and attempted to move the car without keys. She was yanking on the shifter with all her weight. To sum it up I ended up in cuffs and spent the night in jail. She falsified a police report and lied under oath in court. I have a lawyer and all of my legal stuff is under control.
Umm we kind of lost the whole story...how did you end up in cuffs? What are you looking at for school (tech.? community college? major university?)? I've known people who have worked there way through college while attending, it's very doable, depending on what you major in you might be there a little longer (like a semester or 2). You can get loans by filing the fafsa, if you pay your way. Is there a reason why you haven't found a job? (I mean school usually starts in the fall, so what's going on now?).

Next issue, is how many cars do you have? Hopefully not more than 2. Anything more is a bit excessive with planning on going to school, especially with no place to keep them.

Sorry the shit has hit the fan...but don't get angry and go do something stupid (hopefully that hasn't happened yet). Keep us posted.

Don't think there is a grant system for housing until you pick a school. Look at scholarships (I mean there a ton...). You probably will qualify for very general ones but they have a chance to ease the transition into school.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,445 Posts
You don't just get arrested for your mom being "off kilter" as you put it. Given your previous track record in dealings with other members I am inclined to think that there is part of the story that you aren't telling us. Kind of like, "once upon a time, the end."

That said, step 1 is to fill out FAFSA. They don't really give a shit how many living relatives you have or anything, they just want numbers. The fact that you made $14k while living at home last year would indicate to them that you do NOT need aid. In a year in which I made $2500 and my retired father made precisely twice that much, although my expected family contribution was $0, there was still a gap of $30k each year between what grants and scholarships I had and what else I needed to pay. And this was back in 2002. Expect to take out loans. Big loans. There are some loans that you can't get unless a parent has been declined for a certain type, there are private loans with ridiculous interest, maybe your school will offer you a payment plan or something.

OR instead of racking up $100k+ in debt so you can run away from home in style, you could do the adult thing and, idk, actually work on your relationship with your mother. I live in a family full of diagnosed schizophrenics, psychopaths, manic-depressives and garden variety nutjobs, where we used to routinely beat the shit out of each other for no reason other than the fact that we were forced to breathe the same air, and where I was literally stabbed through the arm for sneezing during a TV show. And today, we managed to have a nice Easter dinner without anyone needing to go to the hospital.

You know how you react to things around here, minor stupid petty shit which you've instigated by your own conduct and blown way the fuck out of proportion, and let me tell you if I were your mother I probably wouldn't take that shit either. Think on that before you decide whether you want spend the rest of your life paying down student debt so you can run away and leave what's basically a free ride, as some kind of "power play" over your mother.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,543 Posts
You don't just get arrested for your mom being "off kilter" as you put it. Given your previous track record in dealings with other members I am inclined to think that there is part of the story that you aren't telling us. Kind of like, "once upon a time, the end."
Jewish kids like Drewz have learned how to skip over the meat of the conversation.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,950 Posts
FASFA, private loans, co-signer.

In today's time, you'll rarely be getting full aid/scholarship. Considering this, get ready to spend a lot and be prepared to be enslaved by college loans. It's something in life that 90% or more students will not be able to avoid and in the end, it's a necessary evil. A tough pill to swallow but one that you can't ignore....the alternatives aren't attractive.

And as for your mom and pending legal action, I'd just step up and take the blame. Whatever issue was between you and her is not worth ruining a relationship for a lifetime. Everybody has their bad days and a sincere phone call, apology, and remorse goes along way. It might not be the way you really feel toward her and the situation, but it's better than legal action, poverty, no school, etc.
 

·
Deez Nutz
Joined
·
15,679 Posts


Drew, what's up with this car?

Hate to say it, but it's probably worth some decent cash.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
616 Posts
i cant be of any help about the grants, being from a different country lol
... but ...
as someone who hasnt spoken to family members in over 10 years(thats all i would like to say about it) .... id say bite the bullet man .... family is pretty important ... especially since your father passed away ... cherrish any possible family interaction possible
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,067 Posts
Little lesson here, but it's probably too late:

When you have a psychotic parent, make sure you are always the one dialing 911.

Other than that, ditch her. Sell some stuff. Sell all your stuff. Move somewhere cheap, get some roommates, etc. I'm sure you could do a houseshare in Tremont, bump up your hours at work and make a go of it.

Also, college is nice but it's not a right. Unless you have a definitive, executable plan for study, don't waste your time muddling around in electives that are not geared toward getting you a good-paying job.

Seriously? If I were you, I'd be looking toward some of the pharmaceutical manufacturing job training programs they have at Cuyahoga County Community College. That's a blossoming field in and around Cleveland (mostly because they can't get folks from elsewhere in the country to relocate to northeast Ohio, go figure) and you can make some decent money doing that sort of stuff.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,442 Posts
Be good to your mom. Even if she is crazy, she's the only one you've got. Despite what happened, she'd probably go to the end of the Earth for you.

I know you have a health disorder, but people of all abilities have to make their own way in this world. Do whatever it takes to learn to get along with her (dude, free rent, c'mon now), work your tail off, save some dough, and reevaluate when you have a savings cushion. There's some good advice in this thread, listen to it, even if it isn't what you want to hear.

Student loans have their place, but only when you know what you want out of life and your career.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,067 Posts
While the advice of trying to get along with his mom is good, if you re-read his post, it looks like she's got a temporary restraining order on him. He's not allowed to go to his house. So, basically, telling him to kiss and make up isn't so easy now that the courts are involved.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
978 Posts
Join the military.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,442 Posts
While the advice of trying to get along with his mom is good, if you re-read his post, it looks like she's got a temporary restraining order on him. He's not allowed to go to his house. So, basically, telling him to kiss and make up isn't so easy now that the courts are involved.
They obviously have history. All I'm saying is that doesn't mean they can't learn to get along.

I gave my mom (a mild version of) hell as a teenager. I also didn't talk to my dad for 3 years -- and what brought us back together was his cancer diagnosis. I know what it's like to be on the outs with family, and I also know most of the time they (parentals) are (were) just waiting for your (my) dumb ass to wise up.*

*Not meant to be an exoneration of the parent(s), but they are less likely to come around (ie change) than the kid.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,067 Posts
They obviously have history. All I'm saying is that doesn't mean they can't learn to get along.
Agreed. My father is a bombastic, scorched-earth, know-it-all dick at times who likes to threaten disowning me at his worst moments.

It's taken me many years to figure out the best base for his acid and that's just telling him that no matter the severity of his tantrum, he's still my dad and my love for him is non-negotiable. It's weird to see him react to that because it's almost like he can't fathom that concept. *shrugs*

Also, distance between him and I is a very good thing. There was a reason I ended up in Alabama when I lost my job almost a year ago. Had I moved back in with my parents at their house in Illinois, someone would be dead and someone would be in jail at this point. ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,739 Posts
Off your self or would that be the easy way out? all joking aside, at this point in your life personally i would screw school. Get your self a full time job doing what ever and sell everything you own that you really don't need. You could always ask for donations*
 

·
Deez Nutz
Joined
·
15,679 Posts
Off your self or would that be the easy way out? all joking aside, at this point in your life personally i would screw school. Get your self a full time job doing what ever and sell everything you own that you really don't need. You could always ask for donations*
You are trying too hard.
 
1 - 20 of 146 Posts
Top