Saab Link Forums banner

1 - 3 of 3 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
47 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the
sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the
door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and
eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,140 Posts
lol, i saw a video once, and a priest spilt the wine, and he said "oh sh*t" and it was so funny

~justin
 

·
Moderator
Joined
·
10,303 Posts
Hearing Preists swear is funny, thats one of the perks of being a funeral director. I heard one local priest call a lady a bitch cause she parked right in front of the church. 8)
 
1 - 3 of 3 Posts
Top