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HNNLIC
Joined
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4,209 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
>We always hear "the rules"
>from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are
>our rules!
>Please note... these are all numbered "1"
>ON PURPOSE!
>
>1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
>down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
>you leaving it down.
>
>1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let
>it be.
>
>1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that
>way.
>
>1. Crying is blackmail.
>
>1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
>work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
>Just say it!
>
>1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
>1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
>we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
>1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
>all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
>1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
>act like soap opera guys.
>
>1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
>makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
>1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
>Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
>1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
>commercials.
>
>1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
>
>1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
>example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
>what mauve is.
>
>1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
>1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing," we will act like nothing's
>wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
>1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you
>don't want to hear.
>
>1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
>fine...Really.
>
>1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss
>such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
>
>1. You have enough clothes.
>
>1. You have too many shoes.
>
>1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>
>1. Men really don't mind sleeping on couch after a fight. It's like camping.
 

·
HNNLIC
Joined
·
4,209 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Heh...yea yea. I didn't number it. :roll:
 
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