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Heres a few handy tips for those looking at advertised vehicles for sale that will demistify some of the sales hype.

Must sell, going overseas… (This thing is so stolen or so bad that leaving the country is the only way I can be assured of not having my head punched in by the new owner).




First to see will buy… (Clearly a psychic that knows you will buy the item, so they must know what’s about to go wrong with it).







No offers… (Prepared to not sell it for a cent less than the asking price, only to re-list it for half after frustrating months of it not selling).




Rider outgrown… (The suspension has bottomed out so much and the chain has stretched to twice its length so it is now time for someone half the size of my 90kg seven year old kid to takeover the thrashed out junk pile).







Fresh paint… (That covers up the old rust, fairly new bog, inches of spray putty and a few different coloured second-hand panels).




Very reliable… (Until recently, when I was told that it needed so much work that I would have to mortgage the house to keep in on the road).




Reluctant sale… (Hate to take money for something which I know is so bad, should really be giving it away).




Never been in an accident… (All the damage was either on purpose or an error of judgement).




Suit new car buyer… (If they want a new car that isn’t new).




Lady driver… (Burnt out clutch, parking rash and rear vision mirrors which have never been used).




Needs TLC… (Transmission, Linkages and Clutch, and motor, exhaust, brakes and tyres).




Ideal for towing… (Before the automatic transmission started slipping when pulling the 23’ Bayliner out of the ramp).




Always garaged… (Either wouldn’t start, was too unreliable to drive or was in the garage getting fixed).




Very economical… (Since it started missing on two cylinders).




Full bodykit… (Looks stupid).




Great work horse… (Better off with a horse).




Item is listed elsewhere… (If it looks like selling too cheap, there is a cop out).




Just had new radiator fitted… (But the head gasket, timing belt, waterpump and thermostat all need replacing).




Runs like a dream… (A bad dream where you just can’t seem to get away from it).




Unfinished project… (Someone out there must have the patience, skill and masochistic desire to put together something with most of the parts missing, stripped threads, rounded off bolts… please, anyone?).
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I always laugh when I read, "female owned." Why is that a positive? lol. In my opinion, that just means that the car had the oil changed every 15k, that it was vacuumed twice a year, and that it has tacky floormats and cheap seat covers. Oh, and that it smells like perfume too. All great reasons to buy a car that was "female owned." lol
 

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I always laugh when I read, "female owned." Why is that a positive? lol. In my opinion, that just means that the car had the oil changed every 15k, that it was vacuumed twice a year, and that it has tacky floormats and cheap seat covers. Oh, and that it smells like perfume too. All great reasons to buy a car that was "female owned." lol
It depends on the female. There are several female enthusiasts on here who definitely don't fit that stereotype. The females in my family also doesn't fit this stereotype. Well, aside from my mom who is really bad at regularly washing her car.
 

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It depends on the female. There are several female enthusiasts on here who definitely don't fit that stereotype. The females in my family also doesn't fit this stereotype. Well, aside from my mom who is really bad at regularly washing her car.
Fair points for sure. I just hate when people put "female owned" or "mechanic owned," or anything along those lines....it's like hearing "American Eskimo/Half Dutch Owned" or "owned by deaf airplane mechanic." These things mean NOTHING, lol. Show me some records or receipts, or show me nothing.
 

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As a mechanic when I say female owned its one better than mechanic owned. It means she made me do alllllll kinds of work (AC compressor, heater control box, straight wheels) that a mechanic could live with!
 

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It depends on the female. There are several female enthusiasts on here who definitely don't fit that stereotype. The females in my family also doesn't fit this stereotype. Well, aside from my mom who is really bad at regularly washing her car.
Yeah. Thank you. Whoever buys my 9-3 is getting themselves a meticulously maintained, gently driven, real clean car. The shape of the stuff in my pants has nothing to do with it.
 
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