Damn straight.

 

Mister, my hat is off and I salute you. SAH....LOOT!

 

"I gave a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me..."

Priceless.

 

"If you make her cry, I will make you cry."

 

" I am the barrier, and I will kill you" hahahaha man I need to forward this to a few people

 

With two daughters myself I too share the same attitude.
Along with me and Mr Glock or Mr Springfield. Depends upon how the mood strikes me.

 

Mr springfield likes to reach out and touch someone, but Mr. glock is much more up close and personal...

My father use to shoot competatively at 1000 yards... my sister isnt bringing anyone into this house for a long time!

 

I have no daughters, just three sons. They're usually on the receiving end of this.

 

With sons parents only have to worry about one dick, with daughters they have to worry about all the dicks. I have 1 son and 2 daughters, give me sons any day!!!!!

My best line with one of my daughters boyfriends when I cought them on the couch was"get off my daughter, I've been to jail once and don't mind going back" He left running out of the house. He was 18 she was 14 kid pissed me off, told him if I see him ever again he better hope he see me first because he won't have a second chance.

 

this is why the first thing I do when I meet the parents is shake their hand and properly introduce myself...showering before hand helps also

 

Another reason I only date girls whose fathers are in prison.

 

on the night before family day when i was in basic training, my Drill sergeant said if we were going to go out and try to get some, the first thing you do when you meet a girl is to find out who her father is...
If hes an officer, have fun,
but if his an NCO, run away, he will f^&* you up!

 

When I was a bit younger my dad printed that out and gave it to every guy that I tried to introduce him to.
True story.

 

I have not ever had an issue with parents of girlfriends. Never have i pissed them off, nor given them reason to be pissed off.

That being said, i agree with the OP

 

Jeff Foxworthy said it best. "My daughter is the most precious thing in the world to me. I have no problem going back to prison."

 

that was Bill Engval who made that wonderfull statement.

 

Hey y'all! I ain't got no kids. I'm pretty positive 'bout that. So, could we figure out 10 simple rules if you wanna drive my Saab? Damn, people, didn't mean to kill the thread. Sorry 'bout that!

 

and rules for driving my saab, require you to own a saab yourself, and your promise to supply and help install a transmission into my car, if you manage to break it.

JP

 

don't tempt me to break another one,, ill pretend your saab is a miata!

 

brilliantly funny, yet SO true! reminds me of my ex's father....

 

in beantown, we dont shoot, we take them swimming with heavy cement shoes.

i dont have a daughter, nor do i plan on it,, but ive been very near the acres before...

 

Man, I miss having sex with teenagers.

 

Dude, don't EVEN say that in Kentucky. They'd be playin' that song, "bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do...". The OP could've titled this joke, "10 Kentucky laws for dating our teenage citizens".

 

ugh i dont want my Daughter to grow up

 

Invest in a high speed lead injection device... it will scare away all the little boys