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Old 08-27-2007, 01:47 PM   #1
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The 34-hour trip home from SOC...

There is this little-known indie film, "Kicking and Screaming," where a bartender character played by Eric Stoltz tells the following joke:

"What's the best way to make God laugh? Make a plan."

Well, over the past 34 hours, the best-made arrangements by myself and pal, Oldskool (infrequent poster), had God zipping around us with his lollerskates on.

It seemed easy: Leave SOC around 11 a.m. Sunday, drive two hours to Findlay, Ohio and buy this car...

https://www.saablink.net/forum/showthread.php?t=20774

Afterwards, we'd zip through Cleveland, pausing only briefly to pick up this fluffy dog:



before heading onward to spent the night in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. Monday morning, the car would go in for a check-up with the great guys at Eurotech and then finally home to Nuevo Londres, Connecticut.

What we quickly learned was that the car had other plans. It did not want to relocate from Ohio. It was happy in the Midwest so, like a surly child, it kicked and fought and starved its engine of fuel rather than be pried from its home state.



What was supposed to be a five-minute piss-and-go stop at the Commodore Perry rest stop along the eastbound side of the Ohio Turnpike turned into almost five hours of frantic phone calls to Granite_Embedded, Palmer and basically anyone who had ever even seen this era of car and then waiting for something, anything to happen. So, the sun set...



and still the car did not start.

Muslims organized their evening prayers facing Mecca in the lobby while a rest stop worker mopped the floor...



and still the car did not start.

Tow truck drivers finally showed up after calling AAA and mucked around in the engine compartment with Oldskool



and still the car did, wait.

What? It just started? Quick, sign the AAA forms and hop in. No time for love, Dr. Jones.



And, by 7 a.m. the next morning, we we crossing the Cuyahoga River, east of Cleveland, after spending the night with a friend.



Little did we know that the strange li'l Saab would puke up a bunch of coolant during its first stop that morning, refuse to start in the parking lot of a Sheetz gas station in the middle of Pennsylvania, die out in Berwick, Pennsylvania, and then start right back up again. Oldskool limped into Eurotech where several issues were diagnosed including a front right wheel axle thinga-ma-bobbie which explained why the car had shook Oldskool's arms to the point where going faster than 70 was physically painful. (In case you were wondering, 1994 turbo convertibles get great gas mileage at the speed limit when they're acting as the spotter car behind an older Saab but they get cranky at not being able to pass everything in sight.)

Despite the best efforts of everyone at Eurotech, they now have a peculiar patient in one of their bays for the next few days....

Last edited by aireeca; 08-27-2007 at 01:51 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 01:59 PM   #2
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i think i mentioned this at SOC, but that is just about the worst winter beater ever.

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Old 08-27-2007, 02:01 PM   #3
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Yeah. I know. I heard that. Go over and say hello to it, if you want. It'll be at Eurotech for at least a few days. We actually rolled through Plymouth this afternoon on our way there.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:05 PM   #4
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Yeah. I know. I heard that. Go over and say hello to it, if you want. It'll be at Eurotech for at least a few days. We actually rolled through Plymouth this afternoon on our way there.
haha yeah maybe we'll stop by and visit it. you should have stopped at the house if you were nearby! we probably would have even had a few of the parts to fix the damn thing!

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Old 08-27-2007, 02:05 PM   #5
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haha sounds pretty fun, sort of...

no surprises you had problems in berwick, some nuclear fallout probably clogged something up
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:06 PM   #6
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So is it your car or OldSkools.

Did you guys at least look at each others parts while you were stuck at the rest stop?
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:09 PM   #7
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Quote:
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So is it your car or OldSkools.

Did you guys at least look at each others parts while you were stuck at the rest stop?
Oldskools. There was no parts perusal at the rest stop, thank you. I'll let you figure out why.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:11 PM   #8
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haha yeah maybe we'll stop by and visit it. you should have stopped at the house if you were nearby! we probably would have even had a few of the parts to fix the damn thing!

Paul
We thought about that, actually. But I don't know where you guys live and stopping random people on the street to ask for the house with the Jesus room seemed like a sketchy idea....
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:21 PM   #9
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sounds like a fun time! Yeah you should stop by Plymouth, we are less than 5 min's from eurotech

Does the boost actually keep under control? you guys really should have got an 81+ the 79-80 are really very very problematic. They uses a B-motor with a water pump that runs off of a jack-shaft that also runs the distributor. the water pumps are very problematic, and like to fill the oil with coolant when they fail. they are also rather hard to change, and if someone who does not know what they are doing tries, they will break the jack shaft, necessitating engine removal in order to replace it. they also have no APC, and have an external waste gate with a diaphragm that is very hard to find and expensive. Apparently there is some dude in the UK that still have some, but you'll be shocked by the price. when it fails, the car will have un-controlled run away boost. Did I mention the cracked cyl heads (common) and the cracked exhaust manifolds (common)? They also have the starter mounted under the exhaust manifold, so failures there are common, and they are a MAJOR bitch to change. I hate to say it, but this is pretty much the car that gave saabs the reputation for being unreliable...

worst beater car ever. I think a Maserati Bi-turbo would actually be a BETTER beater car than that, and that's really something.

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Old 08-27-2007, 02:23 PM   #10
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Oldskools. There was no parts perusal at the rest stop, thank you. I'll let you figure out why.

Oh! Aunt Flo. I understand.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:49 PM   #11
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Ugh, sorry we were not more help.



My CIS nollij is weak.




The car looks really cool, though!
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:54 PM   #12
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sounds like a fun time! Yeah you should stop by Plymouth, we are less than 5 min's from eurotech

Does the boost actually keep under control? you guys really should have got an 81+ the 79-80 are really very very problematic. They uses a B-motor with a water pump that runs off of a jack-shaft that also runs the distributor. the water pumps are very problematic, and like to fill the oil with coolant when they fail. they are also rather hard to change, and if someone who does not know what they are doing tries, they will break the jack shaft, necessitating engine removal in order to replace it. they also have no APC, and have an external waste gate with a diaphragm that is very hard to find and expensive. Apparently there is some dude in the UK that still have some, but you'll be shocked by the price. when it fails, the car will have un-controlled run away boost. Did I mention the cracked cyl heads (common) and the cracked exhaust manifolds (common)? They also have the starter mounted under the exhaust manifold, so failures there are common, and they are a MAJOR bitch to change. I hate to say it, but this is pretty much the car that gave saabs the reputation for being unreliable...

worst beater car ever. I think a Maserati Bi-turbo would actually be a BETTER beater car than that, and that's really something.
This is solely Oldskool's purchase. I'm just an innocent bystander, but I'll make sure he takes a look at this thread. I know they've already run into problems getting the axle part he needs for the front right wheel. (I was trying to pay attention but was about to fall over from lack of sleep.)

Last edited by DeLorean; 10-04-2007 at 02:15 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 02:54 PM   #13
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This was a car I was eying myself for the past few weeks it was listed. Maybe it was a good thing that I didn't have the means to get it. I passed right through Findlay, OH on my way to and from SOC and it would have been a convenient pick up. Aireeca will remember me cringing when she told me of the plans to pick it up. (lol) Anyway, I am glad everyone made it home safe and sound, and I'm equally glad the car is getting some much needed TLC.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:00 PM   #14
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Quote:
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Ugh, sorry we were not more help.



My CIS nollij is weak.




The car looks really cool, though!
It's got incredible lines. They've grown on me since I saw a bunch of them last year in Iceland. At first, I couldn't stand the extra opera windows.

Who else was trying to help him on the phone? It turns out there are a couple of things at work, but we were able to get it to Cleveland Sunday night and to Wilkes-Barre Monday so it wasn't a complete lost cause.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:01 PM   #15
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oh, I also forgot that car has the very first saab 5 speed (also the weakest) and K-jet (also fairly problematic) 80's are very rust prone, and it's 27 years old. the 79-80 900's were pretty troublesome when they were new, now that this ones 27... I have to say I am actually surprised it made it as far as it did!

I hope I don't sound too negative... It is a cool car, but if it were MY car, I would not even try driving it as-is. I would do an overhaul on the suspension, replace ALL the wiring harnesses with those from an 86 900-turbo, remove and trash the B-motor, install a B202 (the 16V motor) along with the trans from an 89-93 900, with the correct drive shafts for that. Also at the least it would be getting rebuilt front calipers as a preventative thing, but better yet would be to ditch the early sliding yolk calipers and install some 88+ brakes. I am actually not even sure of the drive axles from the later trans will fit the hubs on an 80, so it might NEED to have the brakes upgraded.


Also, yeah those drive axle parts I don't think you can get anymore. we might have some here though! what is it you need exactly?

Last edited by DeLorean; 08-27-2007 at 03:05 PM.
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Old 08-27-2007, 03:09 PM   #16
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that looks like a neat project. i hope it doesn't have real bad cancer underneath....but those odds aren't too good.

but i always have wanted one of those, so go oldskool.
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Old 08-27-2007, 08:32 PM   #17
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Well, if Allyn wants to take a road trip instead of a plane trip this weekend, I might know someone who wouldn't mind the drive...
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Old 08-27-2007, 09:15 PM   #18
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oh, I also forgot that car has the very first saab 5 speed (also the weakest) and K-jet (also fairly problematic) 80's are very rust prone, and it's 27 years old. the 79-80 900's were pretty troublesome when they were new, now that this ones 27... I have to say I am actually surprised it made it as far as it did!

I hope I don't sound too negative... It is a cool car, but if it were MY car, I would not even try driving it as-is. I would do an overhaul on the suspension, replace ALL the wiring harnesses with those from an 86 900-turbo, remove and trash the B-motor, install a B202 (the 16V motor) along with the trans from an 89-93 900, with the correct drive shafts for that. Also at the least it would be getting rebuilt front calipers as a preventative thing, but better yet would be to ditch the early sliding yolk calipers and install some 88+ brakes. I am actually not even sure of the drive axles from the later trans will fit the hubs on an 80, so it might NEED to have the brakes upgraded.


Also, yeah those drive axle parts I don't think you can get anymore. we might have some here though! what is it you need exactly?
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:19 PM   #19
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After Aireeca called me to explain their predicament and ask whose phone numbers I might have during the car's first episode, Peter and I smiled at Oldskool's optimism with this latest addition to his herd. He thought he could buy an old Saab sight unseen and drive it 600+ miles home without at least a half a dozen exciting surprises? How cute! At least you got a fun visit to Eurotech out of the adventure.
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Old 08-27-2007, 10:40 PM   #20
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you are very brave for taking on this type of adventure. I hope it ends up well.
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