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Old 10-10-2006, 10:49 AM   #1
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the continuing adventures of me and my Saab...

I guess I need to vent... so enjoy...

EPISODE 1
it started as an idea, a few month back. I'm in my 30s, and I still don't own a home. I dunno, maybe it's some innate nesting instinct or something... probably just my hate of moving. whatever the case, the housing market in Maryland is mostly silly. I've recently adopted a "career" as well. it should pay off in the long run, but as for now, I'm not exactly rolling in the cash. so the idea? sell the car I have a loan on (Subaru WRX); recover the equity to purchase a used car for cash; profit. hell, an extra $300-$400 a month that I'm NOT spending is easily another $50k of a house mortgage.

I couldn't bring myself to buy just any old car. it had to bring something to the table. I've had brand new cars for the past 10 years, and there was no way I was gonna downgrade to a 5 year old Civic or Corolla. so, the shopping list on Autotrader and the like included: Saab 9-5 (I was obsessed with the ventilated seats); Saab 9-3 Convertible; Cadillac STS; Audi A6; Volvo S80; etc. there were many test drives. there were alot of crappy rides. and one night, I snapped. I bid on a car on eBay. whoops... I won.

....
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Old 10-10-2006, 10:51 AM   #2
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...continued...

EPISODE 1.5
400 miles away from me, I just bought a car, sight unseen, and set myself up for untold amounts of, "I told you so," from family, friends, and strangers. yeah, I knew better... oh well. it's done now.

about the eBay thang... I did some research. sadly, said research was post purchase. Googling the "dealership" of the seller shows that it shares an address with a strip club. oh joy, I thought, I bet he knows how many dead hookers fit in the trunk, at least. odd, the pictures in the ad show an entirely different dealership in the background. a little more research into different auctions, and it looks like the pictured dealership has an auction user id as well, the was used in some of his auctions to raise the price. super, "shill bidding" is what eBay calls it. I'm not sure why they bother to name it, when they don't do a damn thing about it.

Googling the seller's name yielded some news story about a cop that was wounded in the line of duty. a fluke, I thought, but truth that was confirmed when I arrived. he's a cop on disability... oddly, with a golf game. still, it fits with his overall shady-ness.

surprisingly enough, the car was clean. unfortunately, to my horror, I noticed it had been painted. rear quarter. and an uber clean CarFax too. I'd like to take a moment right now to say, "F you CarFax," the ONLY research tool I used prior to bidding on this car.

so, at this point I have every ability to walk away. who cares about their eBay rank when a big chunk o' money is on the line? not me. still, consider I just spent THREE hours on the runway, with my one-way flight delayed for bad weather. did you catch the "one-way" part? oh yeah, and it's now nighttime, at the earlier mentioned pictured dealership (not the strip club). it's raining. etc. and the seller, the cop/ex-cop/cop on disability with a decent golf game... yeah, he's a big dude with a short temper, mentioning that policing is quite different from selling cars. something was mentioned about customer service vs. beating people with night sticks for a resolution to a problem. yeah... good times. he's getting belligerent. he's insisting that car hasn't been painted. why? cuz the CarFax is clean.

ug... this has gotta be the point where the migraines started for me.

to be continued...

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:02 PM. Reason: type-o
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:06 AM   #3
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...again...continued...

EPISODE 1.75
some stats (not current, but at the time of purchase):
2001 Saab 9-3 SE Convertible. 100k miles. clean. good paint ('cept the paintwork) convertible top hangs up while retracting. a push sends it over the edge to finish the job. it could need relays, an alignment, or some hydrolic fluid, but it's October... I'll worry about this in spring, thank you very much. good tread on the tires. that'll be SNOW tires. yes, there were super-awesome-cool driving home 400 miles in near-hurricane weather. the car tracks perfectly straight, yet the steering wheel is crooked. hmm... either a really awesomely bad alignment that worked out, or a tie-rod control arm mess. I can't wait. SID missing a few pixels. antenna mast only half functional. *MISSING THE DRIVER'S FOGLIGHT* (well talk about this next post) faded hood emblem. badly steam cleaned engine bay. too much oil? two burnt out dash bulbs.

and that's about it... as far as first impressions go.

more to come...

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:03 PM. Reason: bad speeling
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:26 AM   #4
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this story is oddly entertaining. how much did you pick the car up for? doesnt sound to bad if it was a good price.
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:29 AM   #5
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The sterring wheels off to the side has more to do with the adjustment part of the steering column...allignment places oftern fail to adjust the wheel after the allignment.
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:30 AM   #6
 
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I'm loving this serial...
I'll tune in every week....
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:35 AM   #7
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The sterring wheels off to the side has more to do with the adjustment part of the steering column...allignment places oftern fail to adjust the wheel after the allignment.
now someone correct me here, but according to my service writer at the dealership, my car has the equivalent of a "T" connector for the stearing wheel... so the wheel itself cannot be adjusted. as far as the rest of possible adjustments, I have no idea.
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:41 AM   #8
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The wheel itself probably cannot, however half way between the wheel hub and where it goes through the firewall there whould be a splined joint of sorts that is clamped and it should be able to be adjusted there.

I can't say for sure though...
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Old 10-10-2006, 11:48 AM   #9
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...continum...ad nauseum...

so I buy it ...

I mean, what's the worst that can happen? I bought it for, what I think to be a decent price (just over $7k) and figure, worst case scenario, I just re-sell it.

EPISODE 2 (the drive home)
so this was about a month or so ago, when the entire Northeast got dumped on like some poor Bukakke girl. the kind of rain that you think you could see through better with scuba goggles rather than a windshield and wipers.

yeah, so, driving a strange new car in aforementioned weather tightens the sphincter a bit. we've got our hero's first introduction to the often described, but never witnessed "loose chassis" associated with convertibles. add to it, winter tires, not known for channeling liquids well, and you, my friend, have a recipe for fun! you can imagine the hilarity that ensued with, "hmm... 'night view' eh? WTF!?!?" yep, good times.

I survived. and, as it happens, so did the car (for now.) together, we had logged an impressive 400 miles together. a grueling crappy 400 miles, but hey, it just solidifies the faith one needs in their primary transportation. I mean, if it can make it through THIS, we're good right?

eh... not so much...

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:03 PM. Reason: I spell good
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Old 10-10-2006, 12:01 PM   #10
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and whats the next installment comeon now comeon sorry to hear the issues so far but hopefully everything works for you man
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Old 10-10-2006, 12:11 PM   #11
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awsome story-I wanna hear the rest of it AND a little info on the wrx, how did you like it? have any mods done? what ride quality(not car) did you like better?
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Old 10-10-2006, 12:14 PM   #12
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[subscribing] This has started out well. I can't wait to read the rest of this saga. [/subscribing]
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Old 10-10-2006, 05:47 PM   #13
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...continuing...

crap, I got ahead of myself...

EPISODE 1.99 (rewind - foglight suplemental)

I said I'd get to the foglights. I forgot that. yeah, so in the eBay ad, I saw it from the get-go. not a surprise at all. the car was missing it's driver's side foglight and the mini-grill next to it. no biggie. I figured I could pick one up at a later date from some junk yard or other.

anyway, like I said, I agreed to take the car. then my seller/salesman/injured policeman/scratch golfer informs me, with convincing surprise that the foglight is missing. of course I'm thinkin, yeah I know. he goes on to say that it must have been stolen off the car at the lot (damn strippers... I know how it is to need Saab parts, but you just can't trust the strippers, now can you?) well, he goes on to say that the part is already ordered from a local Saab dealership. he'll simply just give them my address, and it'll be shipped directly to me. well, that's nice. he estimates 3 days. this was on a Friday, so I do the math and figure 5 days considering the weekend and all.

dang, I'm such a nice, patient guy, I think to myself.

EPISODE 2.1 (fast forward - foglight supplemental)

so, I'm home, with the car. what a trip. time passes. no foglights. so I give my buddy ol' pal, Mr. eBayer a phone call to inform him of the obvious oversite on the part of the Saab dealership. "who?" "the guy, in Maryland... you sold me a car... remember? foglights? shipping? three days?" "oh yeaaaah," is the reply. supposedly this is gonna get all fixed up. I've noticed he market the auction as "paid" on eBay, but left no feedback for me. he's obviously waiting for mine. and I'm waiting for the foglights.

more time passes. patience, is a virtue, they say.

I'm about to call again, and I notice he left me an eBay message: "The part was shipped to me, the part left my house on fri. thx rick" oh yeah, his name is "Rick." not that you care. anyway, I don't call. the message was enough to placate me for a while.

and more time passes. virtues are for superheros, knights, and nuns, as far as I'm concerned at this point.

my phone rings twice this morning. I'm busy, and can't be bothered. Rick leaves a message. Rick, not the most prolific of fellows, informs me in not so many words that the foglights were "returned" and that he needs to check my address so we can "finally get this done." wow, he seems peturbed. I bet he has both foglights on HIS car though. AND, I never returned any foglights, as I never got any. odd. one might think Rick is less than honorable. scratch that, of course he's honorable. he's a police officer for god's sake! injured on the job even. on paid disability. with one hell of a golf game. and I'm sure he keeps his clubs, upstairs from the dealership, in the office behind the stripper's dressing rooms.

but I digress. I call Rick back using the trusty caller-id he left behind. oh wait, that's not Rick, that's the dealership that the car's eBay ad photo's were taken... not HIS dealership. yep, sure is confusing dealing with Rick. so I call the right number this time. in THIS conversation, "they," being whoever the hell shipped them (I thought it left his house?), had the wrong address. he wanted to clarify that I did indeed LIVE at the address I gave him. jebus... is he sending some FOP cronies around to rough me up so I'll stop bugging him about my foglights? who knows, but again, for the moment, things are being taken care of.

this is neither the end of my saga, nor even the end of the foglight drama, as you can tell. know this though... technically the eBay ad did say the car was being sold "as is." and as it is, the car didn't have a driver's foglight. I know this and accept this. Rick could just tell me to go suck it, and there really wouldn't be a damn thing I could do about it. yet he toys with me. teasing me with the promise of a bright, shiney, new foglight. why? why does Rick want to torture me? is Rick pure evil?

and the rest of the story... next post...

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:04 PM. Reason: yeah, I couldn't take it. had to fix some mistakes
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Old 10-10-2006, 05:53 PM   #14
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This is very interesting...
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Old 10-10-2006, 05:58 PM   #15
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this guys a fuckin great writer and has kept me happy all day at work.
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Old 10-10-2006, 06:00 PM   #16
 
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This is great....

I can't wait until you start doing repairs.

This 'graf was absolute money:

Quote:
Originally Posted by boneriffic View Post
.... yet he toys with me. teasing me with the promise of a bright, shiney, new foglight. why? why does Rick want to torture me? is Rick pure evil?
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Old 10-10-2006, 06:01 PM   #17
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omg... on all the forums that I am on, this has to be the most interesting and most suspensful thread EVER!
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Old 10-10-2006, 06:02 PM   #18
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awesome story-I wanna hear the rest of it AND a little info on the wrx, how did you like it? have any mods done? what ride quality(not car) did you like better?
WRX? it was a great car for me.

the initial shock of it didn't take too long to get over. I was coming from a bought brand new BMW 328, and the fit and finish of the WRX was dismal in comparison. come to think of it, the fit and finish of the WRX was dismal compared to a Honda, Hyundai, and many others.

stereo was crappy. not Saab crappy, ass-backwards wiring, mind you... just regular crappy, with under powered paper cone speakers and a headunit that liked to forget it's radio presets from time to time. cloth seats were a dark, muted techno rave, that didn't completely inspire vomit, thanks to having your ass in them. overall the interior was functional, lacking in rear seat legroom, a folding rear seat, and a sunroof.

exterior had shoddy paint, with an easily chipped hood. standard OEM, easily breakable windshield (mine cracked in the first week.) and a face only a mother could love.

the ride was ok. not much sound deadening, and pretty loud at highway speeds. I made it worse, probably, with stickier (and noisier) tires, and a roof rack. aforementioned highway speeds were also hell on the gas mileage, that I again made worse with a few performance upgrades. but she was fast as hell, and went through the rain and snow like nothing I've driven before. there's some serious turbo lag, and the fast and the furious set was known to drop the clutch at 4000 rpms to get sub 5 second 0-60 times. the transmission was not made for that, but I'm guilty of a few of those. nothing quite like lighting up all 4 tires at once, and hitting 4.5 0-60s.

all in all, I'd say thumbs up. if I could have done it differently, I would have opted for the wagon WRX. what you lose in style points, you gain back 100 times over in functionality.

by the way, I was polishing it up today... she's lookin' purty. anyone want one?

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:05 PM.
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Old 10-11-2006, 06:07 AM   #19
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...meanwhile, back at the ranch...

woot... I've got a new car! well, new to me anyway. a convertible even... and the weather isn't that bad yet either. supposedly this thing takes regular gas too. oh, this is gonna be awesome...

EPISODE 3 (revenge of the saab)

it's my first commute to work. in my mind, everyone, the cattle, or traffic... the brothers (or sisters) in arms that battle with me (and sometimes against me) to get to work on time... yeah, in my mind, everyone notices me in my new (to me) car. so I'm ego-centric... who isn't? of course I'm running late, as per usual. we're CRAWLING. ug... sucks. there absolutely MUST be an accident ahead. yep, I can even hear the traffic copter. wop, wop, wop, wop... eh, I know, onomatopoeia might be a tad childish, but hey, at least there aren't pictures. back to the traffic... sure enough, some poor soul got himself all turned around in his Altima has a few new, artistically licensed lines added to it. onward!

driving. of to work I go.

more driving.

damn traffic lights. I pull to a stop, within spitting distance of our parking garage, and you know what? that damn traffic helicopter is STILL following me. (it embarrasses me to say this... no over dramatizing here, that WAS my actual first thought.) wop, wop, wop, wop... etc.

oh noes....

Last edited by boneriffic; 11-18-2006 at 05:07 PM. Reason: anyone wanna be my editor?
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Old 10-11-2006, 06:18 AM   #20
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Oh noes???? Ohhhhh noooooooessss???!??!?!?!

I can't take the suspense! It's killing me man!





...I'll check back later
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